Curious Confrontation Pt. 1

A casual encounter with a predator on the beach.

Trigger Warning: Inappropriate contact between adult and child.

Grooming behavior.

Mentions of pedophilia.

Strong Language

I am on a beach in Florida, with my mom, enjoying midday Sun.

I’m aware of people walking along the shore, though I am happy to focus on the sensations and sounds of Sun and Ocean.

I hear an adult speaking nearby. They then start shouting,

“I’m single! I don’t have to listen to anyone!”

As I tune into the content of what this adult is loudly proclaiming on the beach, they begin shouting again.

“I’m single!”

“I don’t have a man!”

“I can do what I want!”

I adjust myself to witness a roughly 45+ year old adult in a bikini, holding a drink, loudly talking to another 45+ y.o. adult in swim trunks.

I watch the person in trunks walk away, but it is clear they are trying to get the person in the bikini to walk away with them.They remain aloof, but unwilling to leave the adult in bikini entirely.

The adult in the bikini instead returns their attention to two young people standing next to them.

“How old are you?”

No answer.

“You look 16.”

The two kids look at one another. I could see the one on the left smiling broadly.

There is another family next to us who is also witnessing this interaction. The family included 2 young children, who are also watching this interaction intently.

“What color are your eyes?”

“Who is your mother?”

The adult in bikini keeps asking this strange question over and over:

“Are your eyes grown?”

At this point, my nervous system is focused and zero’d in on this exchange.

I am raised with younger brothers, have taught in elementary school settings, and have worked with youth / children at various points in my life.

Most importantly: I am an adult. A full, grown, verified adult. And have been an adult for over a decade.

I know a child when I see one.

As the three of them stand there, I watch this adult reach out their hand and touch the face of one of the children. The child shrinks away and sits down in the water.

“Are your eyes brown? Or are they grown?”

The adult asks again, bending over, insisting on touching the young ones face.

Before I even realize it, I was already walking over to the adult as they are still trying to verify if the eyes are 16 or not.

The adult in swim trunks immediately walks away as I approach.

My eyes are locked and my intention is set. I am not approaching the ‘group’: I am approaching the adult, who now sees me walking toward them.

As I reach my destination I stop, standing between the two young ones. I am squarely facing the adult.

I begin with curiosity, knowing full well my assessment of this situation already warranted an intervention.

“Excuse me,” I ask loudly, gesturing toward the children; “ARE THESE TWO INDIVIDUALS MINORS?”

The adult’s reaction to this question will stay with me for the rest of my life. Their body language immediately intensified. Their defensiveness was so palpable:

“I have NEVER been called a pedophile IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!”

They loudly exclaim.

The younger one to my left also got defensive:

“Get the fuck out of here!”

“Can you just leave?

“Please?”

I can hear the developmental immaturity in the child’s voice. I briefly look at the child and think to myself: “There is no amount of explicit language that is going to make me believe you didn’t just turn 13 two months ago.”

This time, I not only see, but I can hear for myself that both of these young ones are clearly children.

I return my attention to the adult.

“You touch this one’s face so casually.”

I said loudly, so everyone could hear. I look at the adult with knowingness in my eyes. I am viscerally aware of the message my eyes convey:

I know these are children. You know these are children. And now, you know that I know that you know these are children.

After the child outs themselves as a child, after the nonverbal message is conveyed, the adult switches tactics:

“I’m a mother of 4 beautiful daughters, and you know what? I’m glad that there are people like you in the world. People that will check on kids and make sure they are ok…”

As a mother and as an adult: you know what a child looks like.

Glad that I check on kids? So, you knew these were both children.

Got it.

As the adult continues to flatter my “bravery” and express “gratitude” that there are “people like {me} in the community”, I remain fixed on the adult.

It is clear I do not believe a word this adult is saying.

It is clear I intend to continue to confront this adult.

I am intentionally standing with my arms folded behind my back, my hands clasping my forearms, so I don’t knock this person through Death’s door and into their next life.

I can feel my breathing intensify as this adult continues to try to use flattery to bribe me out of knowing what I already know about this situation.

The young one to my right, perhaps sensing my non-verbal escalation, immediately jumped up out of the water:

“I KNOW HER.”

The child says in a panic. As I turn my head and shoulders to face this young one, I relax my expression.

My first direct interaction with this one will be one of safety and listening:

“What was that? Did you say you know {the adult}?”

I ask in my teacher voice.

While it was clear the child was lying to me, I agreed to play the part of ‘the deceived’. I understand conflict avoidance in children.

I concede to disengage.

“I didn’t know this! Thank you for clarifying here. I appreciate you speaking to me.”

During my entire interaction with this child, the adult is still yelling around about only god knows what.

I turn to walk away.

As I walked away, I realized the other family at the beach were still watching us, including their two young children.

The adult walks in one direction, back to their party of friends, and the two children continue their walk in the opposite direction along the beach.

I tried to resume my enjoyment of Sun and Ocean waves, but I am still energetically charged and I ask my mom if we could leave.

To be continued…