Retrograde

Earth Sanctuary Retrospect

Epilogue: Sow.

Response Ability.

The Director of Mother Earth Sanctuary and I agreed to change the name of the 501©(5) nonprofit to “Earth Sanctuary” by the end of the 2020 gregorian calendar year.

In April, 2020, we did not renew the status of the nonprofit so we could start a new one with a new tax ID and new name, Earth Sanctuary. However, a series of events unfolded for my family that forced me to change my priorities.

I took an 11 day infant relative into foster care in October, 2020.

In November of that year, I was diagnosed with Covid-19.

In December, I was required to move by social services because of the disposition of the Director. The only place I could find was almost an hour away.

In July of 2021, I took Baby’s 3 year old sister into foster care.

In November of 2021, the Director passed away during the first snowfall.

Epilogue: Sow.

Pivot

Between my leaving in December of 2020 and the Directors’ death in November of 2021 especially, I learned a lot of things about the Director from various people in the community.

1. I learned he had caused physical harm to his ex-wife, but because he was a lawyer, he was able to get his charges reduced to a misdemeanor.

2. I learned the Director lied about not hanging out with a predator once I brought the behavior of this “friend” to his attention.

   1. Bonus Points: Months before the Director’s passing, I confronted him about his “best friend” being accused by MANY Native people of being predatory toward young, Native women struggling to maintain their sobriety. I gave the ultimatum- this man is not allowed back to the property or I’m out.

   2. Phone a Friend: I learned this man would use the fact that the Director was an attorney to scare Native women into submission OR to keep them quiet about his abusive behavior.

   3. DAILY DOUBLE: I learned the Director would go on weekend trips with the “friend” who would have at least 2 young (preferably under 25 and Native) women with them for a “weekend getaway”.

      1. Hint: The Director was approaching 70 and his “friend” was well over 55 years old.

3. I learned he ran a puppy mill, and severely neglected the animals to the point of repeated 911 calls from the neighbors on behalf of the dogs.

4. I learned he lied about his lawyer practice. He was not a land attorney, like he told me, he was a bankruptcy attorney.

5. I learned that the reason why no one came forward while I was living with him was because he was a lawyer for 40+ years.

   1. He knew too many secrets in the settler community.

In the end, I put it together that he used me and my work as a front for his own predatory behavior in the community.

The Director kept me as the face of the enterprise while he gave all lip service and NO action to what it means to live in a good way.

The property was sold upon his passing. I was allowed to go back a few times to get my items.

My gratitude will ALWAYS be with the Plant and Animals Beings who nurtured me back to health before I continued on my journey.

I lived my life with integrity, and consistently extended to the Director an invitation to also live with integrity.

I am proud of my own time and activities there.

::::::::: Recapitulation :::::::::

Seed describes the conceptualization of my creative child, Earth Sanctuary; an endeavour created by necessity and innovation.

• I learn to balance the flow of transparency and discretion.

• I heal myself as I restore the ecology around me.

• I heal the ecology around me as I restore myself.

As I Sow, I continually return to my Heart Blueprint for the latest directions in manifestation. My key findings:

• Sometimes the initiating force of a project / idea isn’t what makes the final cut.

  • And that’s ok.

• I adapt, adjust, and pivot while maintaining the vision.

• My greatest solace is finding, and teaching others how to find, support with non-human life forms of Earth.

Courage Root and Curiosity Roots unfold multidimensionally- pulling me deeper into the microcosm of biodynamic_social regeneration while reaching for regional_global impact.

I stumble upon a Cosmic Reflection.

A persistent two-way mirror between organic soil science_education and Indigenous (Native / Black) social justice advocacy_education.

• Indigenous sovereignty and soil health are allegories for one another.

• Both organic soil science and Indigenous advocacy are grounded in the Earth body- simultaneously impacting each other.

The feedback I’ve received from a bonafide soil scientist_educator confirmed my observations: we can track how soil health and human health are reflections of one another.

As I peer into these depths, I am shown a Truth that I now cannot unsee.

These reflections are occurring whether we are consciously aware of them or not.

Smother the lights and run.

Even as I lost-
   people who I thought were allies, 
      words not recognized as empty because my own works were full. 
Even as I learn- 
   what does this mean; to Be a caretaker? 
       mending the hoop of family despite the pains of addiction.
Even as I restart-
   start over,
      again.
I remember-
   the gratitude expressed by those I met along the way, 
      the way my work impacts their lives. 

 I remember-      
  
         my Soul work

            impacts.

I remember what this means; to Be Us. 
      
                                   I remember Us.