Sprout

Earth Sanctuary Generate

+ - + - + Ion - + - +

Given my desire to lead large-scale change, what are the leadership skills I utilize to effectively engage my community?

Trigger Warning: Mentions of domestic vi*lence (DV) and s*xual assault (SA)

The time I created for my Self at Mother Earth Sanctuary allowed me the opportunity to explore my Heart Blueprint.

The things that bring me joy, that encouraged my creativity, the ideas that light me up… all of the things my Heart was trying to express into the world and onto the planet.

I was able to design and build gardens, landscape, compost, save seeds, and network with people in my region about heirloom seeds and pollinator plants.

I implemented Curiosity as a tool for social engagement, taking a genuine interest in the skillets of others and found creative ways to link people together.

I learned hard lessons on the importance of setting healthy boundaries, and finally found the Courage to honor and value these boundaries as a necessary tool for personal AND professional growth.

I felt so in touch with the joy of growing Earth- taking matter in one phase and converting it to something new.

I had finally reached a point in my life where the vision I held in my mind’s eye and in my Heart were starting to take physical shape in my immediate environment.

While I did struggle with PTSD, I finally felt *FREE*. My room and board were covered, I had all of the food I could need and had plenty to give away.

I had the privacy and tranquility to deconstruct and reconstruct myself at my own pace.

It became my undying wish that other people could also build their own Fortress of Solitude.

- + Covalent Bond =

It always struck me just how nonchalant most people were about the truama’s they experienced in their lives.

As a result, it took some time for me to even realize there was a pattern here.

When realization finally solidified, I saw there were a myriad of mental health issues I faced while interacting with others.

I took these issues seriously, and moved forward with my own learning curve.

While there were certainly instances where people shared heavy experiences during solemn conversations, the vast majority of these stories were shared during the most mundane tasks.

In the middle of shoveling dirt, cooking a meal together, organizing seeds, delivering firewood, even just bringing Auntie to urgent care at the hospital:

… it never ceased to amaze me how some of the heaviest, gut-wrenching stories were so casually and calmly told.

Graphic details of childhood s*xual trauma told as though we were exchanging recipes.

Scary encounters while being unhoused were shared as though we were talking about our favorite movie.

I was always taken aback at how some of the most endearing people I’ve met in my life carry around some of the heaviest experiences.

All the while, most people in their lives had no clue whatsoever, or worse:

those closest to them were actively enabling or participating in the abuse.

Whether I spent 6 minutes, 6 weeks, or 6 months with a person didn’t seem to make a difference.

people were going to: 
   find me, 
      tell me their story, and
         get 
            more 
               food. 

The more people showed up, the more their stories came out.

The more their stories came out, the more I began to realize something about myself:

I was woefully unprepared to navigate this experience.

I needed to change that.

So I did.

:; :; :; :; :; Valence :; :; :; :; :;

I began to look for courses that could help me understand trauma.

I wanted to sharpen my skill sets so I could relate more to the struggles of people in my area and community:

• Intergenerational trauma

  • most often in the forms of childhood trauma

• traumas of racism and sexism

• substance addiction

• alcoholism

• DV/SA

• Foster care / adoption systems

I stumbled upon the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM).

NICABM provides EXCELLENT advancements in the field of neurobiology to help the general public better understand the neurobiology of trauma.

I learned they are the certification institute for anyone in the u.s. who has a clinical or professional practice in psychology, psychiatry, nursing, or related mental health fields.

Here is the best part: they understand the necessity of making their courses available to the general public.

You don’t need to have a clinical practice or a background in mental health / psychology in order take the courses and understand the material.

In fact, NICABM encourages the general public to take their courses; because they understand how pervasive mental health challenges are in our society.

As an accreditation Institute on the leading edge of (western) neurobiology research, I could hear the sense of duty as the facilitator expressed their desires that all of us, in all sectors,

1. learn to recognize signs of trauma,

2. identify harmful coping mechanisms

3. recognize our own role in facilitating balanced states of mental health and wellbeing for members in our community.

The first course I took was “The Neurobiology of Trauma”, where I learned in detail the way trauma imprints itself onto the nervous system.

This course radically changed my understanding of:

• The nervous system

  • both the role of this system and how it functions during traumatic events.

• the variety of trauma responses

• survival coping mechanisms

• practical and useful strategies to working with people through their various mental health states.

I learned an empowering tool for healing and recovery is working with others to not only understand their nervous system, but to release the shame and guilt of their own physiological response during traumatic events.

I began to respect and appreciate the nervous system in its complexity; to work with the nervous system to reprogram and repattern itself after trauma.

But, for me, the most powerful lessons of all: if trauma can be imprinted onto the nervous system, so can Love.

If pain can be imprinted onto the nervous system, so can Joy.

If the nervous system can be wired to cope with suffering, it can be (re)wired toward a harmonious, balanced self.

::; :; Electronegativity ;: ;::

I took these courses through NICABM thinking it would give me better tools to relate to people in my community working through trauma.

As a bonus, I learned how some approaches to mental health can actually backfire.

But what I absolutely did not anticipate was me identifying my own forms of childhood trauma.

I lost track of the number of times I had to pause a lesson in order to process the fact that I was now able to recognize my own coping mechanisms.

I was able to put words to experiences I didn’t even know existed.

I learned what is secondary childhood s*xual trauma, and now, in my 30’s, I know that I am a survivor of this particular form of trauma.

How the childhood “discipline” I received was actually a form of ab*se, and this set me up for absolute failure as an adult because I could not recognize red flags in others’ behaviors.

I realized I had been programmed to accept ab*se my entire childhood and young adult life.

I began to recognize and deconstruct my own coping mechanisms and trauma responses.

I increased my awareness of trauma responses in others, and quickly incorporated the techniques I was learning into my daily interactions.

NICABM teaches how our nervous systems interact with the nervous systems of others just by sharing space.

In fact, NICABM explains that we can use our own nervous system as a way to gauge our interactions with others.

There is a conscious exchange of self regulation practices (like mindfulness, meditation, somatic movement, etc).

But there is also a subconscious exchange between the nervous systems of the client and therapist.

Our nervous systems are constantly exchanging with one another, whether we are consciously aware of this or not.

The goal of the therapist is to increase their awareness of this exchange.

Lectures encourage us to stay tapped into the signals of our own nervous system, as our bodies are constantly giving us cues about the nervous systems around us.

We can listen to those cues to give us insights into the nervous system activity of the people around us.

As such, it is key for all therapists to have their own self regulation tools- to keep their own nervous system balanced so they can be as attuned as possible with clients.

With a healthy relationship dynamic over time, a dysregulated nervous system can learn to mirror a balanced state.

Since I’m no one’s therapist, my role is to simply stay present with myself, be consistent in getting feedback from others, and lean on curiosity to help others learn about themselves.

1. “Do you think it would help you to try {this}?’

2. “I see you like to agree with everything I say. Could I be missing something that only you can see?”

3. “It’s ok to say no.”

4. “Thank you for letting me know your boundaries.”

The goal of these techniques are as simple as they are profound: a dysregulated nervous system can pick up on the balanced state of a regulated nervous system.

---

-+ Magnetic Field -+

I began this learning curve so I could be better equipped to help the people who showed up at my door.

I never anticipated I would identify my own forms of trauma in the process.

But if I wanted to be of service to others in this way, I had to learn to work with my own nervous system first.

I had to integrate with my own body in order to recognize it as an ally in working with others.

To stay grounded in my own body provides a signal for nervous systems around me; it is safe to come back into regulation.

To stay attuned with my own nervous system provides the blueprint for nervous systems around me; to mirror a balanced state.

To consistently implement my own tools for self regulation solidifies the integration of my own body-mind; to trust my own sense of self.

To Be
           my
                  Self

This is about embodying the exact solutions we wish to see manifest in the world around us.

«This is the way.»

“What Does It Mean To Be A Guardian?”